


His Dirtied Mind

by bby_youza_fool



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Main couple isnt even that deep, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Schizophrenia, Side couples if you squint real hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 18:03:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11651817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bby_youza_fool/pseuds/bby_youza_fool
Summary: In the 10 months where Taeyong slowly lost himself.





	His Dirtied Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly based off of schizophrenia incidents I witness a family member going through. It's kinda trash but oh well.

**_Taeyong, Taeyong, Taeyong, Taeyong…...Taeyong_ **

“Taeyong!”

“Oh,” Taeyong blurted, startled. “Sorry, ha, I just kinda blacked out.”

“No worries, but, you okay? I was calling your name for two minutes and you looked really out of it. School getting to you that bad?” Jaehyun asked, sipping on his iced coffee and taking a bite out of his donut.

“Yeah, for a second there I thought you passed out with your eyes open,” Johnny added. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired.” Taeyong pulled his sweater over his shoulders and sighed. “I think I’m gonna go, I’ll call you guys.” He started to pack his stuff, picking up his notebook and slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“See you, and call me when you’re home so I know you didn’t pass out on the street,” Johnny yelled as Taeyong walked out of the cafe.

“Yeah, I’ll call you.”

After Taeyong left, Jaehyun turned to Johnny and sighed. “Well, that was weird. He didn’t even touch his coffee and bagel.”

“Oh,” Johnny blurted, noticing the untouched items. “Maybe he’s just sick, it’s getting colder these days.”

“I hope so,” Jaehyun sighed. “I’m gonna call Yuta, have him make sure Tae’s okay.”

“Good idea.”

 

  
*******

 

Taeyong walked into his apartment, throwing off his shoes and putting down his pack. He walked down the hallway to his room, surprised to see a note from his boyfriend on the bed and a bowl of soup.

 _If you’re feeling under the weather of tired, have my special soup! Guaranteed to make you feel better, enjoy beautiful -_ yuta _ <3_

Taeyong smiled, giving the note a soft peck. “Just what I needed.”

He opened up the lid of the bowl, taking the spoon that was next to the bowl and gathering a large spoonful. He swallowed thickly, letting the soup travel halfway down his throat before gagging.

Taeyong clamped a hand over his mouth, dropping the spoon as he ran to the bathroom and fell over the toilet. He gagged, throwing up the soup and his breakfast from that morning.

He wiped his face after he finished, running a hand through his hair as he made his way back to the room. He dumped the soup down the sink.

From Tae <3: What did you put in that soup? _Sent_  
To Tae <3: I put what I usually put in it, what’s wrong? Was it bad? _Sent_  
From Tae <3: Don’t lie. _Sent_

That was 10 months before it went downhill.

 

*******

 

“It’s been two weeks since Taeyong started acting weird, zoning out and throwing up food. I don’t know what’s wrong,” Yuta confessed to his best friend. His head in his hands and a deep frown on his face.

“Maybe he’s stressed,” Sicheng assured. “It’ll pass.”

“That’s what I said,” Yuta mumbled, “But he keeps accusing me, saying I’m putting something in his food. I don’t know why he thinks that, he never complained before. But now, he won’t even eat. Even take out, he won’t eat it!”

Sicheng reached over, rubbing Yuta’s back as he gave groundless assurances. He couldn’t deny, it did sound odd but it can’t be more than stress? Stress, right? It had to be stress.

 

*******

 

“Hello? Taeyong?”

_Where’s Johnny?_

“He’s in a class right now, why?”

_Don’t hang around him._

“Huh? What are you talking about? And what’s wrong with your voice? Are you okay?”

_He’s out to get you Jaehyun. I don’t know what he’s going to do but it’s not good. Come to my apartment, it’s safer here._

“Taeyong? What are you saying, he’s out to get me? Cut the bullshit man.”

_Mark told me, he’s coming for you and he told me all the things Johnny’s done in the past and none of it’s good. You need to watch what you say, people are watching me and possibly you too._

“ Who? Who’s Mark?”

_Come to my apartment._

“You’re speaking nonsense! When you can talk to me without sounding idiotic, call me back!”

 

*******

 

_“Do you really think so, Mark? I never thought of it that way.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Haha, okay I guess so.”_

Yuta listened through the door. Who was Taeyong talking to? Who’s Mark? Is he on the phone?

“Taeyong,” he called as he knocked on the door. “I’m coming in.”

Taeyong sat in his desk chair, facing the wall. No phone in his hand.

“Who were you talking to?” Yuta wondered, stepping closer to Taeyong. He smiled.

“I was talking to Mark. He’s right there.”

That was 9 months.

  
*******

 

Johnny walked into the lecture hall. Upon seeing Taeyong, he waved. As he was about to run up to him, he felt a pull on his arm. It was Jaehyun.

“Don’t,” he croaked. “Come here.”

“What’s wrong man? Don’t what?”

Jaehyun took them to the side opposite Taeyong. He sat down, pulling Johnny to sit with him, facing away from Taeyong.

“I know this sounds crazy but Taeyong thinks you’re crazy.”

“What?”

“Yeah, yes, just listen. He called me last night, saying you were gonna get me. He told me to go to his apartment because it was safer. I told him to cut the bulllshit but then he said Mark told him about things you’ve done in your past. I don’t even know a Mark. I don’t know but I was really scared as to why he thought that,” Jaehyun whispered, glancing over at Taeyong who had his head down.

“What the hell?”

“I know! I don’t know what the fuck is going on but that really freaked me out.”  
Jaehyun rubbed his chin, looking at his lap.

“I can assure you, I have no intention to come at you. He couldn’t have been joking could he?”

“I think that’s too far for a joke.”

“I don’t know, I-”

“The professor, sh!”

 

*******

“Sicheng, it’s gotten worse.”

_What do you mean worse?_

“He won’t come out of his room. He’s been in there for hours. He’s been doing this for weeks.”

_Maybe he’s sleeping._

“No, I heard him walking around, mumbling things I couldn’t hear. I starting to th-”

“Fuck! You always ruin everything! Shut up!”

 _What the hell is that? Is that_ Taeyong _?_

Yuta put the phone down, slowly making his way to the room.

“Taeyong? Is everyth-”

Taeyong burst out of the room, jacket in hand as he ran for the front door, opening it and running out, slamming it behind him.

_Yuta?! Yuta?! Are you okay?!_

Yuta ran for the front door, opening it and looking outside. He saw Taeyong running down the street.

Yuta quickly put on his shoes, grabbing his jacket off the couch and running out the door and after Taeyong.

_Yuta! What the hell!_

“Doyoung!”

Sicheng called his roommate’s name.

“Yes,” Doyoung responded, poking his head out of the bathroom. Sicheng grabbed his jacket.

“Call Jaehyun, tell him to call Taeyong, then have Jaehyun call me. I’m going to run out real quick.”

And with that, he was out of the door.

6 months till…

 

*******

 

Sicheng ran down the streets of the city, searching frantically for Taeyong and Yuta but he couldn’t find them. He continued to call Yuta’s phone but he always came up to no answer.

He searched every alley, every street, and looked in every window. As he was about to turn back, he heard Yuta’s voice. Yuta sounded...scared.

Sicheng walked towards his voice, turning a corner before he saw Yuta and Taeyong. Taeyong held Yuta’s face in his hands, staring blankly at his features. Sicheng slunk behind the wall, listening.

“What do you mean?” Yuta questioned cautiously.

“You look so...different. Why do you look like that, what did you do?”

Yuta gripped Taeyong’s wrists, rubbing circles on Taeyong’s hands with his thumbs. “How different? What do I look like?”

Taeyong continued to stare blankly, his mouth hanging open slightly. “Your ears are pointed, your eyebrows point upwards, your eyes are so small,” he mumbled, running a slow hand over Yuta’s features.

“Ah, really,” Yuta sniffled, a soft tear running down his cheek.

“What did you do,” Taeyong panted, “why are you like that?”

 

*******

 

“Jaehyun?”

“Yeah, Sicheng? You wanted to talk?”

“Yes, about Taeyong.”

“You noticed too?”

Sicheng sighed, rubbed his hands together. “Not that I noticed. Yuta always kept telling me Taeyong wasn’t the same. Then I overheard on the phone that day, that day I had Doyoung call you about Taeyong.”

“I figured, Doyoung never called me about Taeyong before.”

“But, some really is wrong. I blew it off as him being stressed but this is so much more. Yuta told me he’s not eating, he’s mumbling to himself, he talks to the wall, he’ll scream at nothing, laugh at nothing. I looked for them that day and I heard Taeyong tell Yuta he looked different. That his features weren’t the same. It was weird things like his eyebrows were pointed, his eyes were smaller. I didn’t know what to do, I just left,” Sicheng choked out.

“I should’ve told Yuta this before, I had just assumed he was playing at the time. Or times. But, Taeyong keeps calling me, telling me Johnny and other people are going to get him and me. He always says that I need to stay with him because it’s safer. He also keeps telling me about this Mark character. I have no idea who he is,” Jaehyun admitted.

Sicheng shook his head, biting his lip.

“At this point, he needs some help, some serious help.”

4 months till…

 

*******

 

**_Taeyong, why do you bother with that Yuta person?_ **

“Why do you care?”

**_It’s just, he doesn’t love you. He’s done a lot of bad things._ **

“You’re lying.”

**_You know it too, you’re just lying to yourself. He’s so dirty, I don’t know why you bother with him._ **

“He’s...dirty?”

**_So filthy. Him and his Sicheng friend, they aren’t friends. They do it all the time, don’t you notice. Yuta doesn’t care about you. I care about you, I wouldn’t lie._ **

“He doesn’t care about me?”

**_No, he never has._ **

“You’re….”

“You’re right, Mark.”

 

*******

 

“Hey, Jaehyun?”

_Yeah Johnny, what’s up?_

“I didn’t know who I should call but I’m on campus right now and I was about to head home but I saw Taeyong.”

_What? Did he do something?_

“No, no, actually he did nothing. I mean, he’s doing nothing. He’s been sitting on this bench staring at the air. He’s barely even blinking. You remember that day at the cafe? That’s what this is like. Except, he’s been doing it for an hour.”

_An hour? You can’t be serious._

“I wish I was lying, I’m so creeped out right now.”

_Do you mind to keep an eye on him? Call me if he moves, I need to call Yuta._

“Sure, I’ll let you know.”

3 months till…

 

*******

 

Sicheng sat at his desk, contemplating what their next move to help Taeyong should be. He twisted in his swivel chair, chewing on his thumb nail as the thought. He was so deep in thought, he didn’t hear Doyoung come in.

“Sicheng? Sicheng. Sicheng!”

“Oh? Yeah, sorry,” he yelped.

“You okay? Why are you spacing out?”

“Just thinking about Taeyong and what I should do.”

“Ah,” Doyoung exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “Speaking of Taeyong, I saw him on campus right before I left. He was acting odd.”

Sicheng twisted around in his chair, standing up so quickly, Doyoung was shocked.

“What did he do?!”

“He was standing on a bench trying to reach for something but there was nothing there. He was just kind of,” Doyoung lifted his arm up, reenacting what he saw, “ swatting at the air. I really wasn’t sure what he was trying to do so I watched him for a bit but he just kept reaching at the air. I left then.”

“Reaching at the air? Okay, Doyoung, thanks for telling me. I need to call Yuta.”

***

“I have no idea what to do,” Yuta sniffed, wiping his tears with his sleeve. “I don’t know why he’s acting like this and everytime I ask him to go to the doctor, he locks himself in his room. He’s lost so much weight, it looks like he’s falling apart. He has such deep dark circles, I doubt he sleeps at night. His voice has lost all it’s color, he shows no emotion. I just want him to be happy and healthy.

Sicheng rubbed his back, giving a worried look to Jaehyun. “We’re going to help you get him help, don’t worry Yuta.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun chimed in, “don’t worry, we’ll get him help.

2 months till…

 

*******

 

_Next time he calls, you take him to the doctor. You’re the only one he trusts right now._

Jaehyun remembered what Sicheng had told him. He spoke to a doctor who arranged for a walk in appointment whenever necessary. A doctor who specializes in these type of ‘incidents.’

Taeyong hadn’t called him in weeks and Jaehyun had started to become worried that the plan would not work.

He was about to head to bed when he heard his doorbell ring. He walked to the front door, opening it with a yawn but paused when he saw a panting Taeyong at his door.

“Can I come in, please?”

Jaehyun nodded dumbly, stepping back so Taeyong could enter. He walked in quickly, throwing his shoes off and pacing around.

Jaehyun closed the door and stood in front of Taeyong. He was dripping with sweat.

“Did you run here? It’s midnight, what are you doing here?”

“They are all after me, I knew it. I’m not safe, not even in my own home. You’re the only one, I know you won’t do anything.”

“Wait, what? Who’s after you?” Jaehyun mentally slapped himself as soon as it left his mouth for even remotely entertaining Taeyong’s ideas.

“Taeyong,” Jaehyun gulped, “I know you have a lot of things going on in your head right now but I can assure you they aren’t real. They ca-”

“Yes they are! Mark told me! He knows everything. He even knows Yuta has been playing around with Sicheng, I was too dumb to realize. He warned me about Johnny and now everyone else!”

“Taeyong!” Jaehyun shot. “They aren’t real, I don’t know who the hell Mark is but you’ve got to stop believing him! He’s feeding you all these bad thoughts!”

“How do I know you aren’t the one I should be wary of?”

Jaehyun stepped towards Taeyong. He was blinking rapidly, his eyes darting from one corner of the house to another. Jaehyun reached out. “Taeyo-”

“Don’t! Touch me,” Taeyong exploded. He rubbed his arms, looking up at the ceiling and mumbling under his breath.

**_Taeyong **,** he’s going to get you. Leave, he doesn’t believe you._ **

“I’m leaving, I can’t trust you.”

Shit, this is not how this was supposed to happen. “Taeyong, wait! I believe you, you’re telling the truth.”

“You don’t believe me, you probably never have. You look at me the same way everyone else does.”

**_Leave, why are you still here. Leave._ **

“No, I don’t Taeyong, I believe you.”

“No,” Taeyong argued, “you don’t!”

**_Leave, now. Don’t believe him._ **

Taeyong shook his head frantically, mumbling slowly under his breath. Jaehyun thought back to what he had read on the internet before. He couldn’t believe it, that this must really be the case.

“Taeyong, do you hear someone other than me talking to you right now?”

“W-what?” He stuttered.

“Do you hear someone talking to you, that’s not me.”

Leave! Why are you still here?!

“Shut up.”

“What?”

 _ **Leave**_ Taeyong _ **! Leave dammit!**_

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Taeyong stormed, bringing his hands to his head as he panted. He swallowed thickly, staggering as he made his way to the door.

Jaehyun reached out for Taeyong, catching his arm but Taeyong flung him off. He turned a spat a loud, “Filthy!” as he walked out the house and slammed the door.

1 week…

 

*******

 

“Taeyong, are you in there? Why are you playing your music so loud?” Yuta tried to yell over the music but it was too loud.

“Taeyong,” Yuta knocked on the door, “could you turn your music down? I don’t want the neig-”

The door burst open and Taeyong stood in the doorway, dark circles worse than ever and hair a complete mess. He hadn’t come out of his room for days.

“What? You don’t want the neighbors to hear? Are the neighbors so much more important than me? You just don’t care right? Then die! Leave me alone, get out of my sight and die!”

Taeyong slammed the door, leaving Yuta to stand alone in the dark hallway. Yuta could only stare back at the door, he was too speechless and hurt to do anything else. He could hear Taeyong turn the music louder, so loud he could feel the house vibrate.

Tears rolled down Yuta’s cheeks. He wiped them frantically but more just kept coming. More and more.

Yuta walked to the couch and sat down, completely given up and upset. What was the point? There was no point anymore.

 

*******

 

“Damn don’t you know how to pick up the damn phone you asshole?!” Sicheng seethed through the phone.

_What the hell happened, why are you mad?_

“If you’d pick up the phone and checked your fucking text messages you would know! Taeyong’s gone!”

_What do you mean gone?!_

“Ugh, Yuta called me hysterical because he said Taeyong started yelling about having to get them before they get him. He took a kitchen knife!”

_You’re fucking kidding!_

“Does it sound like I’m kidding?! Get here fucking quick!”

Jaehyun pocketed his phone and started sprinting to Yuta and Taeyong’s apartment. As soon as got there, he burst open the door to find a bawling Yuta and a mad Sicheng.

“About fucking time!” He growled upon seeing the male. “Grab my car keys, we need to find him,now!”

The three ran to the car and got in. Sicheng started up the engine and was about to reverse when he paused. “But, where the hell would he be?”

“Go to Johnny’s apartment!”

“Where is that?!”

“It’s at the intersection before campus! Go!”

 

*******

 

Johnny had gotten home only half an hour ago. He was resting on the couch, laid out in a wild manner as he lazily flipped through the tv channels.

He dug into a bag of chips that lay beside him and crunched obnoxiously. Yawning, he scratched his head and was about to stretch out when he heard the doorbell ring. Getting up, he made his way to the door and opened, surprised to see a smiling Taeyong.

“Taeyong? What are you doing here?”

“I was around here, coming back from a late class, figured I’d stop by.” Taeyong claimed, letting himself into Johnny’s apartment.

“Really? You have class this late?”

“Yeah, sometimes.” Taeyong mumbled, running a hand over the back of Johnny’s couch. “And plus, we haven’t talked in awhile. I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by.”

“Uh, no, no actually I’m glad you stopped by. We really haven’t talked in a long time.” Johnny said, closing the door and making his way to the couch.

“Oh,” Taeyong smiled, “great.”

***

“What the hell, Sicheng, can’t you drive straight?!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m really nervous right now. Who knows what the hell he could be doing, if he’s even at Johnny’s apartment!”

Yuta sat in the backseat, legs shaking and anxiety rising. “Taeyong, please don’t do anything stupid,” he plead to himself.

“Yuta,” Jaehyun turned around, “I-I’m sure he hasn’t done anything. We’ll get him, don’t worry.”

 

*******

 

From ChitaaTen: Johnny, u home? I’m on the way home. _Sent_  
To ChitaaTen: Yeah I’m home, I have company right now. _Sent_  
From ChitaaTen: Oh, who? _Sent_  
To ChitaaTen: Taeyong. _Sent_  
From ChitaaTen: Taeyong? Hasn’t he been acting weird lately? I’ve had a lot of friends tell me they’ve seen him do weird stuff. U okay? _Sent_  
To ChitaaTen: Yeah, I think he wants to talk it out. Sent  
From ChitaaTen: Okay, well I’m about ten minutes away. See you. _Sent_

 

 

*******

“Shit!”

“What? Sicheng? What?!”

“Chittaphon texted me, said Taeyong’s at their house!”

Jaehyun jumped up, hitting the dashboard. “What the hell, step on it dammit!”

30 minutes…

*******

 

To Johnny: Get the fuck out, leave the house right now! He’s got a knife, you need to go! _Sent_  
From Johnny: What the hell, are you serious?! _Sent_  
To Johnny: After everything I told you, would I be lying? I’m calling the police and you need to tell Chittaphon not to go home! Leave! _Sent_

15 minutes…

 

*******

 

Johnny stared at his texts in disbelief. Taeyong, who was sitting on his couch, has a knife right now? Coming for him? What was happening?

From ChittaTen: I just walked in the lobby, I’m coming up soon. Give it 5 minutes. _Sent_

Johnny visibly freaked.

To ChittaTen: Don’t come up, DON’T FUCKING COME UP GO BACK

Johnny’s phone flew out of his hand before he could send the text. He saw Taeyong standing above him. “What are you doing Johnny? I knew I couldn’t trust you. You’re texting them, right? To come take me away huh?”

“Taeyong, no, what the hell are you talking about? Listen, you need to calm down.” Johnny stuttered, putting his hands up as he stepped towards Taeyong.

“Bullshit! You’ve been doing this for a while huh? I can’t have this happen.”

“You’ve got it wrong!” Johnny shouted, “I swear, I wasn-”

Johnny’s breath hitched, his words getting stuck in his throat as soon as he saw Taeyong pull a shiny knife from under his hoodie. “T-Taeyong, stop this. You need to really think about what you’re saying, you’re speaking nonsense.”

“You, you are,” Taeyong cackled, waving the knife around, “you’re so stupid. No, no, I’m stupid. I didn’t notice before.”

“Taeyong, plea- Taeyong!” Johnny shouted as Taeyong jumped at him, a deep scowl on his face.

“Taeyong! Taeyong stop!”

5 minutes...

 

*******

 

Sicheng pulled into the parking lot of Johnny and Ten’s apartment. Upon parking, Sicheng bolted out of the car, Jaehyun and Yuta following.

“What floor!” He shouted, in the elevator. “6th, 6th floor unit 612!”

Sicheng ferociously punched the 6 button, his feet tapping as he anxiously waited for the doors to open.

As soon as they did, all three bolted out of the elevator. They ran down the hallway, searching for room 612 and as soon as they saw it, they pounded on the door.

“Johnny! Johnny, are you there?! Johnny!” Sicheng screamed, pounded and hitting the door.

He froze as he heard an aggravated yelp and a shriek.

 _“Taeyong, get off of him!_ Taeyong _stop!”_

“Johnny! Johnny!” All three yelled in unison, hearing Johnny and Chittaphon struggle against Taeyong.

 _“Ahh, 6-9-8-3!!”_ They heard a strangled voice yell.

Sicheng wasted no time punching in the code, opening the door and falling in.

 

*******

 

“Taeyong, what the fuck!” Jaehyun yelled.

Taeyong sat on Johnny’s torso, a knife clutched in both hands pushing dangerously close to Johnny’s forehead. Johnny held both hands around Taeyong’s wrist, desperately trying to avoid being impaled.

A shook Chittaphon was pulling at Taeyong who only kept shaking him off.

Jaehyun ran at Taeyong, tackling him off of Johnny and they both fell to the ground. Taeyong yelled, wiggling out of Jaehyun’s reach and pointing the knife at him.

“Don’t try to stop me! He’s against all of us!”

“Taeyong, please!” Yuta cried, standing near the door. “Please just listen to yourself! Look at me, Taeyong!”

“You filthy whore,” he swore, pointing the knife at Yuta. Yuta’s expression changed, becoming more hurt and confused. “Don’t think I don’t know! All four of you are working with those agents, trying to take me away because I know too much! Because Mark knows too much!”

Yuta shook his head, crying harder than ever and pleading with Taeyong. Jaehyun stood in between him and Yuta, holding out his hands. He looked to Sicheng who clutched his phone in his hand and looked more scared than ever.

“Someone call the damn police!” Jaehyun shouted, annoyed that they haven’t come yet.

Sicheng was suddenly brought back to life, unlocking his phone and speedily dialing 911. Before he could press call, Taeyong avoided Jaehyun and lunged himself at Sicheng who fell, his phone flying out of his hand.

“You! You’re the mastermind huh? Calling the police so they can get me?”

Taeyong snaked his arms around Sicheng’s neck, squeezing as hard as he could as Sicheng wiggled around.

“Taeyong fucking stop!” Johnny yelled, grabbing Sicheng’s phone and calling 911. Jaehyun went towards Taeyong but stopped as Taeyong held up the knife while one hand remained around Sicheng’s neck.

“I will kill you, I swear, if you come any closer!”

Yuta’s scream could be heard as Jaehyun ran at Taeyong despite his threat. He grabbed Taeyong by the arm and pulled him, causing him to fall forward, dropping the knife too close to Sicheng’s cheek.

Sicheng cried out as a blood trail formed on his cheek, tears falling out his eyes as his face turned red.

Taeyong grabbed the knife again, before Jaehyun could, and held it up. Sicheng pulled at Taeyong’s arm, gasping and kicking as his circulation was being cut off more and more. Chittaphon left Yuta’s side, going to Sicheng and he grabbed Taeyong’s hand, trying his best to pull the knife out.

Taeyong let go of Sicheng’s neck, who was left gasping and coughing, and pushed Chittaphon with all his might, having him hit the door frame and fall over, moaning and groaning.

“Taeyong, Taeyong, Taeyong, please,” Yuta screamed, falling to the ground as sobs shook his whole body.

**_He’s faking. He’s faking it, he doesn’t care._ **

Taeyong got off of Sicheng, who Johnny ran to, and headed straight for Yuta, the knife held firm in his hand.

“Didn’t I tell you to die?!”

“Ugh..”

Taeyong could feel the knife piercing skin, blood spilling out of the wound and onto the floor.

Yuta screamed, crying as he felt blood hit him. Jaehyun fell backwards on him, Yuta doing his best to hold him up.

“What the hell did you just do?!” Johnny yelled from his place beside Sicheng. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Taeyong only laughed slowly, his mind running circles as he staggered back, Jaehyun’s blood on his hands and on the knife.

Jaehyun fell to the ground, Yuta crying as he applied pressure to the wound with shaking hands. Jaehyun shook slightly, blood falling out of his mouth and tears out of his eyes.

“He can’t get me,” Taeyong mumbled, “he can’t get me now.”

“You’re sick,” Johnny spat, tears running down his cheeks.

“No, no, you’re sick. I can’t let you get me either!” Taeyong hissed, running at Johnny but he fell to the ground. Police officers dogpiled him, another pulled the knife out of his hand as another handcuffed him.

“Let go!” He screamed, “ You can’t take me, I won’t let you!”

Paramedics came, taking Jaehyun and a shaking Yuta, then Chittaphon, and then a red Sicheng and crying Johnny.

The police dragged a bloody and screaming Taeyong out of the apartment. Neighbors and people walking gathered to see what was happening. The ambulances zoomed down the road and the police car in the opposite direction.

 

*******

 

“Schizophrenia.”

“S-schizophrenia?”

“Yes. From the tests we ran and the symptoms you told me, we’ve concluded Schizophrenia.”

Yuta sighed deeply, a sob threatening to pop out as he dropped his head in his hands.

“He’ll be going to a mental hospital instead of jail by reason of insanity.”

Yuta cried. “I should’ve known.”

“It’s okay, not everyone knows the symptoms.”

Yuta held his head in his hands as he cried.

 

*******

  
2 years later

“It’s been awhile, since we came,” Yuta sighed, giving a small smile.

“Yeah, I know. I thought I would never come back here again but here we are.” Johnny mumbled. “It wasn’t his fault.”

“I know, I know.”

“I can’t believe I forgave him, but it just feels wrong if I didn’t.” Chittaphon confessed, putting his hands in his lap.

“Yeah,” Yuta sniffed.

Johnny took a bouquet out of Yuta’s hand, setting it softly on the grass in front of the tombstone. “I’m sorry, buddy,” he apologized.

_In Loving Memory of Jung Jaehyun_   
_1997-2017_

Yuta wiped his tears, setting down a bouquet of flowers in front of the tombstone next to him.

_In Loving Memory of Lee Taeyong_   
_1995-2017_

Sicheng, who stood silent the whole time, cried softly. “Why did it have to turn out like this?”

 

Jaehyun had died during surgery that night. Chittaphon went into surgery as well, for a spinal cord injury. He came out paralyzed from the waist down, ending his dance career.

Johnny and Chittaphon moved out of his apartment, not being able to bare living there anymore. Yuta moved out of his apartment as well, it reminded him too much of Taeyong.

Sicheng and Yuta dropped of school, the school bringing back too many haunting memories.

Sicheng broke up with Doyoung and moved out of their apartment.

Taeyong committed suicide in the mental hospital, hiding all his pills and then taking them all at once. The doctors found him dead in his room on Christmas day.

When Yuta received the call, he broke down in the apartment they had shared. The next day, he flew back to Japan but returned a year later.

Yuta still wakes up at night with nightmares of that day. Him and Sicheng live together now.

Johnny religiously mumbles under his breath that it should’ve been him instead of Jaehyun. Chittaphon tells him that Jaehyun would have wanted it this way, but he too feels guilty for what he could’ve done but didn’t.

The four now can only remember what happened that day. It haunts them but they can’t change it. They can’t ever change it.


End file.
